Six figures mingle around a rather large, ornate conference table. Under a normal situation these individuals would never associate with one another..but of course this isn’t normal.
Frankly: So I’ve decided to change my name.
A moment of hesitation, he waited for his idea to breed conflict. When the other’s didn’t respond he continued with annoyance weighing his speech.
Frankly: C’mon guys, seriously! I want to change my name.
Bruce: Frank, you’re not changin’ your name. How many times have you had the same dumb idea?
Without looking up from his laptop, the hunched Jamie spoke up.
Jamie: 37 and a half times.
Frankly: Have not!
Bruce: You have too! Wait.. what the fuck Jamie? 37 AND A HALF? How in fuck do you change your name a HALF a time?
Jamie: He started to mention it once, but then Allo woke up.
A hush fell over the group and they quickly glanced to the other end of the table where a young man slept peacefully on the shimmering mahogany.
Frankly: Well, I haven’t tried to change it 37 times, and I CERTAINLY didn’t try to change it a half a time.
Bruce: Go away Tommy! You always agree with the underdog. Get’s annoying. And besides, you know Jamie has never been wrong.
Frankly: Does it matter? I’m changing my name despite Jamie being right AND Tommy being a dog lover. And my new name will be…
Jamie: October 31st, 1999. I guessed that he would skip out on Halloween because of the Twilight Zone marathon on TV. I was incorrect because my assumption did not take into account his interest in a female.
Thomas: Oh I remember her! She was so sweet and…
Bruce: Had a nice ass, yeah we all remember. My vote was her over Twilight any night.
Frankly: Anyway, my new…
Thomas: You.. Oops! Sorry to interrupt Frank but look everyone! Brucy made a rhyme!
Bruce: My mistake.
Frankly: <snort of derision> When’s the last time you didn’t make a mistake, Bruce?
Bruce: Hey! I thought this was about your name!
Frankly: So you DID hear me all along? Well, …
Jamie: Yesterday, in fact. He made a bet with Heimee the Elephant on who could traverse the rocky path of misery while balancing the blue whale’s egg on their stomach without dropping it. Bruce didn’t drop it. Of course, neither did Heimee but the fact is Bruce didn’t make a mistake.
Bruce: Helps when the item in question is a figment..
Frankly: WILL YOU ALL SHUTUP SO I CAN SPEAK?!
Jamie: <clears throat emphatically>
Frankly: Sorry! But I really have been trying to get this out–I want my new name to be Ambristar.
Bruce: Well that blows.
Thomas: <nudges Bruce with his elbow> But does it “blow” more than “Frankly”?
Jamie: He has a point.
Frankly: What are you guys saying?
Bruce: That your name blows either way.
Thomas: I like it! It has a classy ring to it. Sort of sophisticated, right?
Bruce: Ok, “Imapissar”–do whatever the fuck you want. Either is funny as hell.
Thomas: Yay! Ambertar–how nice is that?
Frankly (now Ambristar): Actaully, it’s Ambristar. ‘Ohm’-‘bris’-‘tahhh…
Dave: You mean the servant to Anton Ego from Ratatoullie?
Ambristar: <nervously> Nooo–not at all! He was french.
Bruce: Whatever. Hey Frank, you hungry?
Bruce: Looks like you’re Frankly after all.