Stupid Little Mind Games

Why do I play such stupid little mind games with people? What brings me pleasure brings them pain..and they assume directly that I am sadistic. So the conversation usually concludes with an empty apology.

Maybe the correct question is not “Why do I play such stupid little mind games…”, but “Why are people offended by my stupid little mind games?”

Advertisements

Mutterings

“Easy come, easy go.”
Mother always said so.
She would mutter things like that
While washing dishes and running the tap.

“An idle mind is where the devils play.”
“Watch what they do, not what they say.”
“We always fail where we do not try.”
“Be a man and don’t you cry!”

Then one humdrum afternoon
She had just finished with the vacuum..
When a tear rolled down her dusty cheek
And she muttered this to me:

“Some people will love you,
And some people will use you.
Be neither the coward nor the fool.”

The Chase

Don’t be fooled. Don’t let yourself be taken
By thoughts or false pretense.
For I am who I am–I cannot be someone else.

What I am is pale skin, warm flesh and blood;
My hair, brown. My teeth, white.
My face on Monday mornings–a sight.

But that’s what I am, so different from who..
Who am I? And who are you??
Like mass amnesia–we haven’t a clue.

Born groping for an answer,
To a question without name.
So we wonder about what’s round us, and shun the inner pain.

Like a puppy chasing its tail,
Or a detective on the case.
It doesn’t matter, it couldn’t matter.. All we are is a face.

So like a puppet, or a parrot..or any creature that repeats!
“I am who I am–” and who I am hates me.

Why does she move like that?

I’m sitting alone at my table, eating a quiet brunch. The terrific noise of people in the lunchroom used to bother me, but not anymore. Slowly I have grown immune to their useless hubub and mindless chatter.

But then I see her. My hands become a little sweaty as my mouth goes dry (never understood that hidden link..). She is moving slowly around the circular salad buffet, no doubt constructing a healthy meal to ease her calorie-ridden conscience. There is a gentle sway in her motions..a subtle grace to her step..as though she hosts a secret dance within her heart.

Why am I transfixed? My eyes stare where I bid them not. My thoughts roam to places I forbid. More than an inner struggle–my body becomes the shell for World War III. Hands trembling to bring food to my mouth, mouth refusing to accept the food, knees quivering slightly with embarrassment, eyes refusing to leave her perfect form, heart drawn like a magnet while the sane section of my mind is hopelessly attempting to bring about a reformation.

Not until she leaves the buffet and walks..no GLIDES to her seat across the building does my body once again submit to my control. Frustrated and confused..I trashed the food and left. Why would I feed such a rebellious creature?

Pixies (ii)

 

 

Laughter like a winter chime

In crime

Perfect face and shining eyes

Such lies

Invading our lives like a fairy-tale

From Hell.

 

Unseen, playful–like a child

Yet wild

Floating with tiny wings

Vile things

Combining old magic with modern charm

To harm.

 

At the corner of our eye

They spy

And gesture with tiny hands

At plans

For changing our lives and our future verse

For worse.

 

 

 

Pixies

Do you believe in pixies? I do..but my pixies are far removed from the traditional description. These creatures are devious and torturous, characterized by small acts that make our lives miserable.

I can see them..hiding at the edge of my field of vision. That odd bit of movement fluttering at the corners of  my eyes. Turning my head quickly I find nothing, of course. Such a nasty trick..causing us to question our vision or worse: our sanity.

How to protect yourself from pixies? Well, my theory (which is based on incomplete research) is that these creatures have a type of perverted “yin-yang” personality. They are attracted to those who are happy with the intent of balancing the emotional balance in our world. The happier you are, the more pixies you attract. So a logical solution would be to act depressed and sad..then you attract fewer pixies and life is much easier to live.